Imposter Syndrome & Men
Do You Feel Like A Fraud Or A Failure No Matter What You Accomplish?
The ratio of women to men with Imposter Syndrome is much closer than you think. While imposter syndrome can affect individuals of any gender, research suggests that there may be some differences in how it manifests in men and women.
Some potential characteristics of men with imposter syndrome may include:
Do you overcompensate with performance on tasks and projects due to your own perceived lack of competence? Are you working longer hours, taking on more responsibilities, or avoiding asking for help because you worry it will be seen as a weakness?
Are you very competitive with other men in your roles? Men with imposter syndrome may be more likely to compare themselves to others and feel a need to be the best or achieve at the highest level. Are you finding your standards difficult to achieve and experiencing increased feelings of inadequacy? Do you tend to perceive that others are doing better than you?
Do you tend to externalize? If you are feeling inadequate, you may be more likely to externalize these feelings of self-doubt and attribute them to external factors, such as a lack of support or resources, rather than internalizing them as a personal issue.
Finally, are you avoiding taking risks? Are you finding that challenges feel potentially threatening to your sense of competence? You may also avoid seeking feedback or advice from others, fearing that it will confirm your feelings of inadequacy.
As the rules of engagement and protocols are currently rapidly changing in the workforce, your need to appear all-knowing is probably feeling like a heavy burden.
If you are like many professional men, your definition of expert and leader has to be redefined to include the ability to ask for help and be transparent and feel confident in your abilities to be a role model and take your team to a place of success. This process of redefining your identity as a competent professional is not easy to do on your own.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Let’s look at it as a strength and embrace this moment in history to become a more confident and empathic professional leader.
I have seen men go through this transformation before and I know it’s possible. Embracing your whole self as a leader is rewarding and will make you a stronger asset to your team.
Don’t let your Imposter Syndrome be in charge of you. Take charge of yourself and determine your own future.
Is Imposter Syndrome Holding You Back?
Imposter Syndrome Can Lead To Burnout And Exhaustion
One of the hallmarks of imposter syndrome is burnout. Because you’re always overcompensating and working so hard to hide your insecurities, you might reach a point where you’re too exhausted to keep producing. Anxiety about work performance and social interactions may have worn you down. Feelings of inadequacy might cause you to isolate from everyone around you. Perhaps you try to numb your emotional pain by self-medicating with alcohol or food.
Deep down, you probably wish that you could just believe in yourself and be free from all your self-doubt. If this is the case, I encourage you to connect with me. Therapy for imposter syndrome can help you improve your confidence and teach you how to accept yourself as you are with all of your imperfections.
Many People Feel Like An Imposter Even When They’re Good At Something
Since the pandemic, roughly 82 percent of people surveyed said they struggle with feeling like an imposter.¹ For many people, these feelings become especially strong when they start a new job or take on a new project. But as time goes on and their expertise improves, their confidence usually rises with it.
For people with imposter syndrome, however, their confidence does not increase even as their expertise does. They still feel like an imposter no matter how good they are at something or how much time they spend doing it.
Stereotyping In The Workplace Can Make Men More Prone To Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome occurs with men in today’s world differently than women. Men have stereotypically had to compartmentalize their feelings and appear less emotional. Men are more likely to interpret their own emotionality as a weakness. With the increased emphasis on leaders demonstrating empathy, transparency and humility, men are finding themselves feeling inadequate in being able to accomplish these soft skills. But if they don’t work on developing these skills, they will feel that they are likely to get passed by with promotions. The end result is a state of paralysis and confusion which leads to Imposter Syndrome.
If you’re tired of overcompensating to gain approval and recognition, I would be honored to help you out. Therapy is a chance to slow down and practice self-acceptance no matter where you are in life.
Therapy Can Help You Overcome Imposter Syndrome And Accept Yourself As You Are
Let’s face it: when you’re suffering from imposter syndrome, it’s easy to think that the problem is you, not your expectations. You may tell yourself that if you were just more successful, you would feel better. Imposter syndrome counseling can help you break out of this mindset and overcome negative self-judgments. The goal is not to stop working hard, but to develop a sense of self-worth that isn’t attached to work and success.
Above all, I seek to provide a place where you can slow down, be yourself, and allow yourself to have feelings and feel comfortable expressing them. My hope is that our work together will help you recognize your superpowers and value yourself on a deeper level.
What To Expect In Sessions
Oftentimes, imposter syndrome stems from unresolved trauma. When this is the case, in therapy, you and I can safely revisit the childhood experiences that led to negative self-beliefs. This gives you a chance to release past pain, heal old emotional wounds, and arrive at a deeper, more positive understanding of who you are.
To help you overcome past trauma, I often use an approach called EMDR therapy. EMDR uses a series of gentle stimulation exercises (like tapping or side-to-side eye movements) to desensitize the pain that traumatic memories created. This form of therapy can help you get to the root of your imposter syndrome and feel more confident and secure in your work life and relationships.
Additionally, therapy can give you tools that you can use in between sessions to manage your emotions. I aim to help you become more in tune with your body so you can better identify when you’re having trauma reactions. I also want you to learn to trust your gut and respond to your inner voice. This can help you create healthier boundaries and be more assertive in your relationships.
All in all, it is possible to know your self-worth and be free from the self-doubt that overshadows your life. With the right help and support, you can learn to accept and embrace yourself as a whole person and create a life where you feel supported and valued in your career and personal life.
You May Have Some Questions About Therapy For Imposter Syndrome…
-
Therapy always happens at your own pace. If you ever feel overwhelmed, we can pause our trauma work and focus on helping you stay grounded. What’s more, EMDR is conducted in a safe and supportive environment, reducing the risk of re-traumatization. The approach can help you reduce the intensity of your emotions, making it easier to handle working through trauma.
-
Imposter syndrome may motivate you to try hard, but if it’s hurting your self-esteem, don’t you think it’s worthwhile to seek treatment? Besides, therapy is not about teaching you to slack off and stop working hard. I want to help you be successful without being controlled by old insecurities. This way, you can do things because you enjoy them instead of doing them because you feel like an imposter.
-
Taking one hour a week to focus on your own healing can increase the quality of your entire life. It’s a gift you need to give to yourself and an investment that can have lasting benefits far into the future. What’s more, I offer several different payment plans if you’re worried about the cost. I’m flexible when it comes to finances, so you don’t have to pay in full right away.
Learn To Value Yourself On A Deeper Level
If you want to see a therapist who specializes in treating imposter syndrome, I encourage you to connect with me. To begin the healing process, you can contact me or use the link to my calendar to schedule a free phone consultation. I look forward to hearing from you!
